User blog:Hippie Rat/Ferdinand Magellan vs Amelia Earhart
Hey yo hi hello GUESS WHOOOOOOOO! Deadpool here! What's going on here? Who are these dudes? Is this history?! Who the hell does history on this wiki?! Alright alright, well I just want to do more history, lay off me. Anyway, today we have Amelia Earhart, female pilot and equal rights activist, against Ferdinand Magellan, Portuguese captain who led the first circumnavigation of Earth, in a battle of the failed attempts to go around the world and the accomplishments otherwise achieved by these two. I give 100% permission to the use of my lyrics in any audio and/or visual production, as long as credit is given where credit is due. A beat can be requested if so necessary. It would also be appreciated that, if any lyrics are used, a link to the production be sent to me. Any questions and/or links can most easily be sent in my most recent blog. Thank you very much. Keep an eye out for that Sir Francis Drake cameo. Lyrics Announcer: Epic Rap Battles of History! Amelia Earhart vs Ferdinand Magellan! Begin! Ferdinand Magellan: Look out there, Amelia, and take in the view, Of the vast beauty of the bounding blue. I'm as vicious and relentless as that livid mistress, All to come after me is calm, Pacific. It's Magellan, I'm hell of a captain, are you still lost on my thoughts?: A wench is only as useful as the bench she twiddles knitting needles on. You're carry-on luggage; a bag of potatoes, Hell, this snot-nosed defiant child couldn't navigate stilettos. I strait-up found new ways for trade to be conducted easy, Not to mention penguins and llamas while chasing after galaxies, Made the Date Line 'cause I'm so ahead of my time, Don't need to bitch about my problems when you're all Ninety-Nines. Amelia Earhart: So someone's a tad cross over my distinguished flying; and mistaken, Amelia's antonymous with this insignificant Magellan. 'Cause who was the first around the globe? It sure wasn't you, You died halfway through and took the fame from your crew. I'm an exemplary heroine, faring daring sea air on a wing and a prayer, Any "beware"s, I don't care, man, my heart's in the air. That's Earhart, I hardly barter with oddball sea captains, With that sixteenth-century scurvy, shoulda sailed north for them mandarins! Now your teeth falling out like your crew, Half your fleet mix the ocean-blue blood-red, marooned. I rap circles around you, this female flyer with ambition, Your fatal flaw was switching to missionary position! Ferdinand Magellan: By God's side I find it fine to lose my life, And let my team complete the quest for Castilian exchange to thrive. While you choked on the final stretch, now your claim to fame, Is people not being able to find that corpse of an airplane! You flew it solo from the Red Sea to Karachi, Now you're snorkeling at the Barrier Reef! But she does get around. Well certainly not the Earth, so with who? Well Lindbergh fucked her. And that's the only Earhart theory I'll accept as true. And I ain't getting out-flowed by a girl, So nuts I mistook her for a flying squirrel. Message from Howland: "It's a tad overcast, Amelia, see ya!" 'Boutta split you down the middle - Tordesillas. Amelia Earhart: So I tried to fly the globe and got lost, But not without stinging later haters, now ya gotta dodge the WASP. So you can get flippy with me, But that penguin ain't the only flightless bird I see. How you gonna be miffed when Spaniards won't be led by a Portuguese dude? Make you eat my raps like "what's the deal with airline food?" What's wrong, cap? Getting seasick? Or are you just pissed you're getting your ass kicked by this bitch? Best you flew back to Spain, San Antonio, if you wanna be victorious, As your accomplishments stay in the shadow of Columbus! This missionary hit the Philippines and then some bamboo, Hold on, we're going home, or you gonna let Drake lapu. Ooh! Announcer: Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History! Trivia *The exchange between Magellan and Drake is a parody of a scene in the comedy movie Office Space. The original scene shows Ron Livingstone's character Peter Gibbons hearing from Greg Pitts's character Drew that his date, Jennifer Aniston's Joana, had sex with who he believed was his boss, Gary Cole's Bill Lumbergh. This twist on the scene jokes gossip that Earhart could've had relations with renowned pilot Charles Lindbergh. *This battle was hinted at on my wiki page with the the term "A botched circumnavigation." **This hint is a reference to Cards Against Humanity and the infamous card "A botched circumcision." Poll Who won? Ferdinand Magellan Amelia Earhart Category:Blog posts